


Natalie Wonders

by IceSword46



Category: Next to Normal - Kitt/Yorkey
Genre: Gen, Natalie-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 01:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2005380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceSword46/pseuds/IceSword46
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natalie Goodman wonders about many things...  Some thoughts hang heavier than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Natalie Wonders

Sometimes Natalie wonders if Gabe’s presence would eclipse her as much as it does if he were actually alive.

She wonders if he would play sports and if her mom would actually try to be lucid enough to go his games when she rarely ever gets to her recitals. She wonders why her mom is so concerned about the drugs not making her feel things. If she were to take her mom’s cocktail of medications, could it have the opposite effect on her and make her feel? _Natalie feels like she hasn’t felt anything in a long time..._

She wonders what her dad feels. If he feels anything or her entire family just composed of broken dolls that were once people. She wonders how he has managed to not tear apart at the seams so violently there’d be no hope of ever stitching himself back together yet not been able to see that that exact thing is happening to her, happening more rapidly as of late, too. She wonders how he keeps holding on to hope – for himself, for his wife, for his family. Maybe _he’s_ sneaking mom’s meds.

She wonders what the school thinks about the girl who spends all her free time in the practice rooms – crazy like Mozart, probably. She taught herself by ear to play the melody from the old music box in the attic. She wonders if she understood just what it was, why it was up there gathering dust instead of sitting in her room actually being used. She knows when she figured it out, vividly remembering the day her dad walked into her room to ask her to keep it down, and watching his face slowly pale as the music dawned on him. The way he quietly, yet fiercely, told her, _“Natalie stop playing that right now.”_ She didn’t have to wonder after that. 

But the thing that Natalie Goodman wonders most, the question that plagues and haunts her, is that if Gabe had survived and she had died as a baby is if it would have impacted them at all.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a really quick drabble I wrote while at work, I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Come talk with me about Next to Normal emotions at scottmcstark.tumblr.com!


End file.
